Too many rules

I've come to the conclusion that if I try and follow every goddamn rule of what I am

supposed to do or not supposed to do as I writer, I'll never get anything written. So

fuck all that. Besides, I do not think, that if someone is reading an interesting

story, that they are going to stop reading if you use too many adjectives on a page.

If that's all it takes to make someone put down your story, well...

Renewed Vigor

After getting down on myself yesterday, I found myself awash with new ideas, and new thoughts with re arranging my manuscript, and adding to it. Starting it differently.
Being more descriptive. Taking my time. Fixing it instead of scrapping it. Sometimes I'm so obsessive, that I don't give my mind time to relax and work. Kind of like not being able to see the forest for the trees.

A happy post. What a change.

I should have planned this better

The primary story I have been working on just took a shit on me. I have realized that the manuscript is just absolutely littered with problems. Tons of incorrect tense, he looked, as opposed to he looks, and such. Too many characters. Not to mention aesthetics, such as too many similar sounding names. I'm so frustrated with it.
I just might scrap it. I know that I have a solid story concept. I know that I have a solid story twist. And I know that I have a great ending. I just can't seem to figure out the best way to fill in what I don't know. I haven't posted this particular story on here. It is my primary project. Or maybe was. I don't know anymore. Feel free to comment. Thanks.

I'm so fucking depressed

For no good reason.

Don't you hate it when...

You write a section of your manuscript a certain way, and something that you paid little attention to ends up being so important, that you have to go back over your story and rewrite chunks of it, in order to move forward? Maybe I'm just a weirdo.

"Speechless" As Read By Elena

Check out her blog here

Here's a cool site that tells you who you write like!

I write like
Margaret Atwood

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Since my last bout with motivation

I've managed to write 500 words every day. I feel it's actually getting easier. My dialogue framing is getting better as well. I am actually happy with how it's been going.

Damn it I'm doing it again

I kept a blog before this one for a long time, and stayed anonymous, because I was afraid that if my ideas and whatever actually had my name on them, I would start to censor myself. What if people get upset at what I think, what if people don't want to be associated with me, what if I disappoint people, or offend people, or lose friends,
what if what if what if. And I'm doing it again. Not saying things I want to say, because I do want people to look at my blog. I want to promote it, and make friends with it, and connect with others through it. I had a surprising amount of friends on the old blog. I was totally candid. But I never showed it to anyone who could connect it to me. I wanted to avoid that this time. But it looks like it is going to be a tough road. I'm very upset with myself.

Holy Shit! "Inception" WOW

This film has really had a huge impact on me. It's a mindfuck of the highest order, and very inspirational as the story is so imaginative, so amazing, that it makes me want to strive to be more creative with my own work. Just incredible.

Pill Paranoia

Sometimes I think I know too much for my own good. I'm generally paranoid, and I do asinine things sometimes because of it. Case in point, I know that ibuprofen (Motrin) is metabolized by your kidneys, and that acetaminophen (Tylenol) is metabolized by your liver. So if I go too long using one of them, I feel like I am putting a strain on my kidneys/liver, and will avoid taking anything for my headaches, muscle aches, asshole aches, etc, until I can get the other one.

Doing some additions to "Karma Now, Pay Later"

Additions are now done, added about 700 words. Drafting out some story elements to help guide me. Read and comment!

Ta Ta!

Boogers

I feel like I have boogies in my nose, but can't remove them. All I seem to get hold of are bits that will give me a nose bleed if I pick at them. Probably the cold air or something, who knows. For those of you that went yuck, quit being a fucking hypocrite. You pick your nose same as I do. I'm just honest about it ;)

My Right Nipple Hurts

I have no idea why, and it seems absurd, but my right nipple is hard as a rock, and sore as hell. Well, you know, after a few days of no entries. Thought I would post something thought provoking. Cheers!

Shaking like I have parkinsons disease

I got that greatly awaited shower today, and the act of standing and washing left me shaking so bad I couldn't even type. Like I did 200 pushups or something. I am so out of shape it's fucking laughable. I've gotten better since I've been walking at night, but that doesn't help my upper body. I think I might get some hand squeezing exercise thingies, you know, with the spring and handles, whatever it's called. Then I can work my arms. On a side note, I'm so fucking hungry my stomach hurts. I just keep drinking kool aid, and if it gets too bad, caffeine will help quell the pangs. Nifty huh ?

I complain too much

This blog has turned, so far, into a lot of me bitching. I feel like shit tonight. I've had the equivalent of 6 strong cups of coffee today. I can feel my stomach acid rolling around. Having some problems with my website, so that's kind of shitty as well. Things are looking better as far as that goes, at least last I checked. I wanted to take a shower today as I am filthy, but I have no clean clothes, and all the clothes are all piled up together, dirty, some really nasty, and I asked my roommate to fish through it all so I can have some clothes, and it didn't get done. I really need to keep my stuff separate from everyone else, but there's just not enough room. I'm upset at myself for faltering on the whole no caffeine sleep thing, I just can't handle being drowsy. I guess I'm a java junkie. I almost wish there were something stronger that I could take early, once a day, and have it last me without needing anything else. I need to buy some vitamins. I bet I'm seriously deficient. I bet I'm so low nutrient wise, I could take a double dose of vitamins and still piss crystal clear, because my body would suck the nutrients like a 2 dollar whore.

People who obsess when bad weather is coming

Irritate the living shit out of me. We had bad weather coming this morning, everyone is calling on the phone, saying, "Turn on the TV" "Look outside" etc etc etc. So the bad weather doesn't actually even come into your area until late afternoon, but everyone has spent the entire morning and early afternoon looking at maps and looking outside and calling to tell each other how bad it looks and where it seems to be headed and oh boy look at it. Just let the fucking bad weather affect you when it gets to you. Not like looking at it is going to make it turn around and go away. Argh! it's irritating as fuck.

People who say golf isn't a strenuous game

Are fucking idiots. I tried to learn to play golf 10 years ago or so, when I was in much better physical shape. These buffoons need to head to the local driving range, and buy a 200 ball bucket. If they can even manage to hit the ball, by the time they get halfway, their arms, back, legs, and hands will be so sore that it's likely they won't be able to finish. And if they don't have the foresight to wear golf gloves, in all probability the skin on their hands will be worn blistered. I don't even like golf, I play golf video games. That's about it. But I've played 9 holes on a real course before (a fucking long time ago) and whenever I hear someone scoff at golf's physical demands on your body, it makes me want to smack them with a used condom.

Well now I'm staying awake

But I have caffeine jitters. And I probably won't be able to sleep when the time comes. I can't fucking win. I'm going to add a page on here for story ideas. Check it out and comment.

Fuck it, I'm embracing caffeine

No matter how much sleep I get, I can't stay awake during the day. So I'm going to consume caffeine when I get tired. So far I've had 2 vivarin, one at 9 and one at 12. To hell with this drowsy bullshit.**Update** It's 2 o clock, and I'm taking more caffeine. Hopefully this will help me kick into gear.

Hoping to hear from my best online friend today

I have a feeling today is going to be a good day. I really hope to get a comment on here from my friend JP. It would make me happy to know she makes a habit of reading my entries on here. I sent an email to Meg Cabot, I love talking online to cool writers, and she seems really down to earth. I'm hoping she has time to email me back. I would have never thought I could get a personal response from a successful novelist, but quite a while ago, I started email conversation with Jodi Picoult. She almost always personally answers my emails. I figure what the hell, send a mail and see, you know ?
Ms Cabot is a fellow native of Indiana. I'll follow up if she ends up emailing me. Slap me with a comment JP!

2:00 and still sleepy

I fell asleep again, this time after having drinking some Pepsi, in hopes that would help. Not only did I fall asleep, I made it all the way to REM. I had a very vivid dream. My system must be very very sleep starved. It has to be much worse than I originally thought.

Sick of being sleepy during the day

I went to bed at 11 last night, got up around 8. I haven't been able to do much more than sleep. It's 11 am and I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm so fucking sleepy. Damn this is irritating.

Stuck To My Guns

Went on my evening walk last night, put the computer away and went to bed a smidge before midnight. Got up reasonably early today, but couldn't manage to stay awake, no matter how hard I tried. Even with a small bit of caffinated assistance. Most likely it's going to take a few days for my body and mind to get on track. Part of the problem lies in the fact that my bedroom is really more like my living room. The primary television and all entertainment is located in here, and most times the bed is more of a place to sit, than a place to sleep. I've read that you should make the place you sleep somewhere that is away from the living area. In here, the bedroom IS the living area. I'm ass backwards. Most people watch TV in the front room, and fall asleep on the couch. I watch TV in the bedroom, and just happen to sleep there. I don't feel this entry was very well written. Oh well. Maybe next time. Cheerio and all that shit.

Ok enough is enough

I'm tired of my fucked up sleep schedule. Pumping myself full of caffeine during the day to stay awake, then being unable to sleep at night. It's a unending cycle of feeling like shit all the time. So starting tonight, exercise at 9, sleep by 12. We'll see how it goes.