Our character sits in the dark void of nothing and thinks about who he has become.
He ponders his life choices, and wonders if anyone will remember anything he has done
once he is dead. He has few friends and fewer family. Feels alone all the time, but
dislikes being around people. Fools himself into believing his thoughts and emotions
have meaning to anyone but him. Knows in his heart that he's not cute, funny, witty,
insightful or even generally interesting. Aware that no one cares about anything he
has to say. Wages an internal attack against feeling sorry for himself. But loses
most of the time. In our character's mind, he is a maggot living on the flesh of
an amputated leg floating in sewage. At times he cannot find happiness, despite
having nothing particularly to be sad about. He knows many others are worse off
than he. One day life will step in and provide him with a reason to be depressed.
He'll look back on his unneeded feelings of despair and feel even angrier with
himself for having no appreciation of whatever it is he has lost. He doesn't know
where the years have gone. Days turn to weeks, months into years. Has he lived
more than half his life already? Often he ponders this. Making connections
with people is not a strong point. Actually he isn't particularly good at much
of anything. Finding love is probably out of the question. No woman will
ever understand him. They probably wouldn't put up with him either. He wonders
if he should start having a drink occasionally. When the darkness gets hold.
He longs for a kindred spirit. Crawling deep into the damp tunnel. His every
breath echoes. Sweat drips down his forehead, salt into his eyes. If he looks
back, he can see where he came from, if he squints his eyes and strains them.
And before him even further in the dark distance he can make out a flickering
light. The way I see it, it's either the light shimmering in to the end of the
tunnel, or the headlight of a train, getting slowly closer, that will eventually
run him over. We should all wish him luck. I know I do. He probably needs all
he can get.
